Meanest story nominee: Yet another premature story about the Jackie O tapes.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 August 2011

Okay, let's get the facts out of the way first. There are tapes of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis that have not been released to the public. According to reliable sources, Caroline Kennedy will authorize their release this September.

Now we are expected to believe the low rent Examiner has a source that will tell us what's on them. They promise a look inside her "shattered life" and the secret of who was really behind the assassination of JFK.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.




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The Kennedys, Marilyn Monroe And Sex Parties

Ted Kennedy
The late U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy is the subject of much speculation, as his FBI file that was released this week reveals, he and his famous brothers, John and Robert, were thought to be engaging in sex parties with stars such as actress, Marilyn Monroe and actor, Frank Sinatra.

Marilyn Monroe (left) and Frank Sinatra (right)
Monroe famously had sex with President John F. Kennedy and conducted an affair with his brother as well. Her behavior was wholly inappropriate and very scandalous. She was so brazen with the infidelity, it caused the Kennedys much embarrassment.

To this day, many believe Monroe was killed by the U.S. government, when she wanted to go public with her sexual affairs with President John F. Kennedy. She was found nude in her bed, overdosed on pills, but the details of the crime scene did not add up.
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Times Square Terrorist Arrested

Faisil Shahzad
Faisil Shahzad, the man that tried to blow up Times Square in New York last Saturday, May 2, 2010, has been apprehended by American authorities, as he attempted to board an Emirates airplane to Dubai, at John F. Kennedy Airport, en route to his homeland, Pakistan.
Shazhard, became a U.S. citizen one year ago. He has been living in America for years. He went to the University of Bridgeport, in the U.S. state of Connecticut. He obtain a degree in Computer Applications and Information Systems and later earned an MBA. He is married with two children and his home was foreclosed upon last year.

Eric Holder, sporting his standard "deer in headlights" look: we found out about it when you did
Shazhard, the prime suspect in the attempted bombing, told the FBI he acted alone.However, additional arrests have been made in America and Pakistan, regarding this terrible incident.

The timer on Shahzad's bomb (yes, really)
The bomb looked like it was made by Wiley Coyote. If this dude did not have the brain power of Britney Spears, the bomb would have gone off. He deserves life in prison for the attempted mass murder of people in New York.

Wiley Coyote
In watching the news on Saturday, one of my relatives was concerned the suspect, may have fled the country. I stated in response, the airport is the worst place to go when one commits a crime in a major country, as APBs will be issued. One would simply turn up at the airport unannounced and receive a free prostate exam, courtesy of a policeman's nightstick (truncheon). And sure enough, they caught him at the airport days later.

Times Square crime scene
In closing, well done to the t-shirt vendor, whose vigilance in spotting the smoking vehicle, saved many lives, by the grace of God. You deserve the keys to the city and a cash reward.

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